Mommy Wars
I'm intrigued by Leslie Morgan Steiner's new book, Mommy Wars. I've seen the disconnect between working moms and stay-at-home moms, even though very few of us are exclusively one or the other. (I identify myself as a stay-at-home mom, but have a few home-based businesses on the side.) Likewise, many working moms work from home in an effort to balance the need for income with the desire to raise their own children. Yet, there seems to be a line in the sand, and you have to choose on which side of the line you stand and fight for your side.
Motherhood is a judgement minefield. Be careful where you step- judgement can rear its ugly head in every parenting choice- from what you feed your little boogers to what school you enroll them to how you discpline to what you dress them in. It's an icky mess that not even mom-spit can clean up.
But I think all of this judgement and line-drawing is a symptom of a larger problem: society does not value motherhood. This became abundently clear to me the first time I went to a social event after Little Booger #1 came along.
"And what do you do?" a well-heeled and quaffed woman asked.
"I'm a mom right now to a 2-month-old," came my smiling reply.
"Oh, how interesting." the woman said. "Well, it was nice to meet you."
I became "that girl to be avoided" in one sentence. Motherhood made me NOT interesting. Motherhood meant I didn't have opinions on the stuff of typical party talk- politics, sushi, HBO, sex, jokes or booze. Instead of being a part of me, motherhood was it.
That experience tells me all I need to know about why mothers struggle between work and home, why we can't find good, affordable childcare, why some work low-paying, on-the-side jobs, etc.
In today's America, motherhood means that's all you've got: kids. And that means we should sit on the sidelines and squabble between ourselves- working moms and stay-at-home moms, judging one another rather than working together as a demographic toward anything resembling progress.
I'm intrigued by Leslie Morgan Steiner's new book, Mommy Wars. I've seen the disconnect between working moms and stay-at-home moms, even though very few of us are exclusively one or the other. (I identify myself as a stay-at-home mom, but have a few home-based businesses on the side.) Likewise, many working moms work from home in an effort to balance the need for income with the desire to raise their own children. Yet, there seems to be a line in the sand, and you have to choose on which side of the line you stand and fight for your side.
Motherhood is a judgement minefield. Be careful where you step- judgement can rear its ugly head in every parenting choice- from what you feed your little boogers to what school you enroll them to how you discpline to what you dress them in. It's an icky mess that not even mom-spit can clean up.
But I think all of this judgement and line-drawing is a symptom of a larger problem: society does not value motherhood. This became abundently clear to me the first time I went to a social event after Little Booger #1 came along.
"And what do you do?" a well-heeled and quaffed woman asked.
"I'm a mom right now to a 2-month-old," came my smiling reply.
"Oh, how interesting." the woman said. "Well, it was nice to meet you."
I became "that girl to be avoided" in one sentence. Motherhood made me NOT interesting. Motherhood meant I didn't have opinions on the stuff of typical party talk- politics, sushi, HBO, sex, jokes or booze. Instead of being a part of me, motherhood was it.
That experience tells me all I need to know about why mothers struggle between work and home, why we can't find good, affordable childcare, why some work low-paying, on-the-side jobs, etc.
In today's America, motherhood means that's all you've got: kids. And that means we should sit on the sidelines and squabble between ourselves- working moms and stay-at-home moms, judging one another rather than working together as a demographic toward anything resembling progress.
posted by Miss Melissa at 9:06 AM
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